This one time, I went on a date with a guy who spent the majority of the date trying to get me to invest in his new business. He gave up banking to bake gluten-free cupcakes. I took no issue with the career change. I’m just saying that it’s in poor taste to pitch your business plan to a stranger. Also, if you were a successful banker at any point in your life, you shouldn’t be hitting up students living on government loans as potential investors.
This one time, I went on a date with this guy who sat across the booth from me and said, “You know, I usually date girls who are thinner than you, but you have a pretty face, so…” and he just trailed off. I told him that I usually date guys who aren’t assholes, declared the date over, slapped a $20 on the table and high-fived the waitress who overheard our conversation.
Seriously a horrible lunch date. He was incredibly attractive…and incredibly stupid. He made fun of my food choices (sorry I’m allergic to shellfish, bro…), made an ASIAN JOKE (and I’m 1/4 Chinese…), and had 5 beers over the course of the hour we were there. FIVE. At lunch.
He tried to kiss me when I left, I just shook my head and walked away. Online dating can suck my ass. I went home and took a nap.
Ed. Note: I fully support your post-bad date nap. Given his five beers at noon, I’m betting he probably needed a nap after that too.
After one date?! No. Tom needs to take a step back and learn to play it cool. “It’s complicated” should never be a real relationship status, even if it is indeed, complicated.
Nothing says “date me” quite like a urinal pic, with a guy taking a dump in the background, while wearing a wedding ring.
It’s cute because they’re married. You have to really know someone before whipping out your penis is sexy and not horrifying. That said, I once was on a second date with a guy who thought unzipping his fly a public park on a weekday evening while raising his eyebrow at me would be appropriate. I told him that he “seriously misread the situation.” It was the last date we had. I wish him well in his probable future of horrifying other ladies in the greater Toronto area.
A few years ago I met this guy at a friend’s open mic night performance, and he was a friend of a friend or something so about ten of us all going to hang out at his apartment complex’s pool afterwards. He was kind of cute and into me, so I was talking to him to amuse myself, but it rapidly got really odd. He kept trying to get me to drink some wine he’d made out of some water bottles, but I wouldn’t since he seemed skeevy-ish and I didn’t know him, and everyone said it was terrible anyway.
I and several other people and stripped down to underwear to swim in the pool, but he sat in his underwear on the side and refused to get in. I tried to coerce him, and he finally told me that he refused to get in because the chemicals in the water were too dangerous and would poison him. Why the underwear in that case? From there, he went on for thirty minutes about how I needed to stop washing my hair and showering and wearing make up. He did this all while smoking cigarettes, by the way.
At the end of the night he asked me to stay with him, although I had discovered at this point that it was not his apartment but rather the apartment of one of his friend’s mother’s and that he was living on their couch. I refused, and he told me I needed to stay because he didn’t believe in cell phones or the Internet and he wouldn’t be able to find me again. I told him he would if fate wanted us to be together and took off, and thankfully I never saw him again. This story could be titled in my memoirs as The First Hipster I Ever Met.
[Ed. — You came perilously close to dating a hipster, dear reader. And not only a hipster, but the worst kind of hipster: A hipster with conspiracy theories. But hey, at least take cold comfort in the fact that he thought you were too clean a human being and that so far, fate has not flung you back in his direction.]
Yeah, I’d bet that date was very interesting. Lord help the dude if he ever friends her on facebook. He’ll run screaming into the night.
Oh dear god. Everyone needs to click on this link and always do the opposite of what JJ did to poor Kevin.
My favourite parts are when she pretends to accidentally mix up her contacts and text another guy and her friend about other dates. I’ve made that mistake once or twice when I had a few text conversations going on at once, but this was way too deliberate.
No winkers. Ever. It’s creepy and too personal and weird. It’s right up there with those people who do the double cheek kiss or the too long hand shake.
This one time, I was on a date with this guy who, upon getting to the bar, insisted on sitting on the same side of the booth as me. He absolutely insisted that we sit side by side because it would be “romantic” even after I said it was kind of weird. It was a first date, which meant that having a good conversation with him was difficult, to say the least. He said that the quality of the conversation didn’t matter because “everyone would see what a sweet couple we are.” I didn’t call him back but I still get a random text every two months, a year and a half later.
It’s a bad date when you go out with your girlfriend and her exboyfriend handcuffs you to a urinal.